Transformers

More Than Meets The - KABOOM!! - Eye.


In order to properly evaluate this Summer Blockbuster you must first understand something about it's director/executive producer, Michael Bay. It's quintessential that you know his style and his motivation so that you can appreciate the direction he took this 80's classic and the particular vision he realized. And in order to gain this understanding all you must do is read the following list of other films that Michael Bay has produced and/or directed.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Amityville Horror
Pearl Harbor
Armageddon
The Island
Bad Boys
Bad Boys II
The Rock
Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall


Looking at that list you can understand exactly what Transformers is going to look like under the auspicious eyes of Mr. Bay: Shit is going to blow up, and there are going to be titties.

So, knowing that, you can now evaluate the movie based on how well it adheres to this format of tits and explosions. Let's go through another list.

Megan Fox
Robots with cannon arms
Fighter jets
Military personnel
Tanks
Megan Fox

It's almost as though I don't have to even write a review. Seriously, you should know what to expect as far as action and hot chicks go. But what you shouldn't expect is a decent plot or character development. Outside of the main character (maybe characters if you count the hottie) you don't get too deep into anyone's background, even that of the transformers themselves. We kind of sort of know why they are there and we know that decepticons are bad and autobots are good, but we don't know why Jazz is hip-hop or why Bumble Bee likes humans so much or why Optimus Prime is so fucking cool. Well, we know that intuitively, I guess.

Despite the lacking substance, I'm going to recommend this film only because it's such a blast to watch. I left the theater wanting to run around like an idiot even though it was late and I was running a very little sleep. It was that energizing. If you're finnicky about paying 9 bucks to see something that's never going to win an Oscar, you can always wait for the DVD, but if you're going to do that you had better have a kick ass surround sound system and a very big, High Def screen. For this one, you're going to want to see and hear every explosion and every tight abdominal muscle like you were right there ducking for cover.